Parents, Unschooling, and Emotional Healing

On sharing space with your parents, as an unschooling parent:

For many years, even into adulthood, I was consumed by the desire to escape, to run away. I didn’t want my kids to have a close relationship with my parents. I didn’t feel like my parents and unschooling “got along” – they valued obedience and control, not freedom.

My dad was “not nice”, while my mom would “nice you to death” in order to make sure you felt pressured enough to follow their lead. They shared their opinions as if they were facts. I have come to realize that my parents always had real trouble seeing and interacting with me, as opposed to the idea of me that they had fabricated in their minds.

When people say they have experienced abuse, I think we think that’s a clear-cut concept, but nothing could be more complex. Did they hit you with solid objects? Abuse. Did they scream at you and shame you and tell you what you were feeling wasn’t true or real? Abuse.

BUT–did they also read you bedtime stories every night, cook you healthy meals, and tuck you in with your favorite blanket, freshly warmed up from the dryer when you were sick? Did they go out of their way to bring you sour candies and fancy drink parasols from their work lunches? Did they sit down and dig through the Lego box with you, take an interest in your artwork, and remember that your favorite popsicles were the Blue Bell green ones?

See, it’s complicated.

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what do unshcoolers believe

What Do Unschoolers Believe? Unschooling, Defined.

Unschooling, defined? How we’re different:

Unschoolers believe similar broad concepts about the nature of children and of learning, that set us slightly apart from other people. There are plenty of unschoolers who may disagree on some of the finer points, but the core beliefs are, in my opinion, fairly common ground:

Unschoolers believe strongly in the innate capabilities and curiosity of the human spirit from birth.

Firstly, we do not see children as inferior to adults (that’s adultism, FYI).

We strive to treat people of all ages as primarily competent, well-intentioned individuals who possess sufficient internal motivation and drive to learn and grow throughout life.

In short, unschoolers believe positive, life-affirming things about human nature, and we have (or cultivate) a large amount of trust in our children as people.

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why I almost didn't join dōTERRA

Why I almost didn’t join dōTERRA

Why I almost didn’t join dōTERRA

Wow, what a ride it’s been.

Over the past 9 months (!), I have unraveled the deceptive practices of one essential oils company and researched a ton of other ones.

I almost didn’t join dōTERRA, and I was even ready to toss out the entire MLM concept altogether.

Only recently did I came to a decision I feel fully at peace with!

Where it all started…

Back in December 2017, I wrote an article on my relatively new and quiet website, explaining why I decided to leave the essential oils company I’d wholeheartedly invested in for the past three years.

The article was more of a document for myself than anything. I was wholly unprepared for the huge response that my heartfelt sharing would generate!

I was simply writing an explanation for my downline, and also to make sense of the betrayal and frustration I felt. Continue reading

What Money Really Is: An Amplifier & Lubricant

Originally published by Krystal Trammell on Steemit

Money is not evil, it’s not corruption, and it’s not actually something that changes people.

Money is simply a CURRENCY–like water in a stream.

It flows with ease and gentleness wherever it’s not blocked off.

It can also rush through like a torrent of destruction, tearing apart the landscape around it with zero remorse.

 

(Some folks have more pebbles in their pond than others, and MANY have boulders and sediment that have diverted the flow for generations…)

It can shape beautiful and grand landscapes….over time.

But wait–how can money be an AMPLIFIER?

If you are one of those who think that, “If only I had more money, I would….”

  • eat healthier!
  • do yoga every morning!
  • donate to charities!
  • feed the hungry!
  • treat my family better!

You are lying to yourself, dear one. Continue reading

Why I LEFT Young Living Essential Oils – The Truth Is Out

This may come as a shock, but as of August 2017, I’ve cancelled my membership with Young Living.

The evidence just keeps mounting against Young Living as a company. I’m embarrassed and saddened that I promoted their products for over 3 years.

Please allow me to explain why…

(This will take a few minutes to do it justice…bear with me)

Young Living’s oils have been transformational in our lives and health. I still believe that Young Living’s oils are better than grocery-store or discount oils…but they’ve broken my trust, and there’s no coming back from that.

I no longer believe Young Living’s oils to be the best on the market. It’s come to light that they’re NOT as committed to sustainable and ethical practices as they claim to be.

I’ve personally always felt a nagging suspicion that there’s been something “off” about their products and company. Call it intuition (I unwisely ignored it).

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Can you Unschool a Toddler?

Is unschooling just for younger kids?

It might seem that way to some folks.. There’s lots of people I meet who have a toddler and an infant, or perhaps a 3.5 yr old child, who are interested in unschooling–which is fantastic!

I’m always really glad to see parents of younger kids who are already questioning the status quo.

Maybe they’re even ruffling a few feathers in their social circles because their kiddo’s not on a waitlist for daycare, or registered for soccer, ballet, and three other kinds of lessons/classes/activities.

I think many folks approach unschooling from the attachment parenting perspective, where you’re listening to your child’s cues and looking for opportunities to invite them to try new things, instead of forcing independence on them like a shoe that doesn’t quite fit yet.

I’ve seen parents of 18-month olds saying, we’re unschooling!

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that one time I thought I’d get to be homeschooled.

I remember asking my parents about how many years I would have to go to school.  

They were always reticent to answer…saying that after elementary school was middle school, and then more levels of school–junior high, highschool, etc.  I felt so frustrated, and so eager to grow up and call my own shots properly.

I must have pestered them pretty hard about it, because they told me all kids had to go to school, that not going to school was illegal and they’d get thrown in jail, end of story.

FINE. Continue reading

why there aren’t more lifelong unschoolers.

Where are the lifelong unschoolers? Why don’t we see more teen unschoolers?  What happens to all the unschooling communities, where the groups of little kids far outnumber the lifelong unschoolers in the group? If it works so well, why aren’t more people doing it for longer?

Every fall, it seems that in the whirlwind that is public schooling, a few more brave souls are swept up into it…either because of pressures from concerned (possibly meddling) family and friends, financial stresses, lack of adequate #childcare, or just#overwhelm.

Our tribes are so diffuse, our individual resources are concentrated in ways that do not support us in doing what we believe is best for our individual children. Continue reading

Unschooling Is…

This post is about unschooling, which is not to be confused with;

  1. how to pleasantly coerce your child to do schoolwork
  2. how to get your kids to do schoolwork on their own
  3. how to make schoolwork more fun

It IS about unpacking our beliefs about how learning happens, what’s good for kids and adults, and what’s really important in our lives as parents who want to raise happy, functional adults.

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Unschooled 6 Year Old Writes Poetry

My now-teenage daughter wrote this when she was 6, almost two years before she knew how to read.

Invented spelling is a THING, y’all.

This child is growing up to have impeccable grammar and spelling, and reads and writes more prolifically (and with more enjoyment) than any schooled child I’ve met.  She has yet to have a single grammar or spelling lesson. Continue reading