Why I don't owe you an explanation of my NO.

This article is also posted on theHomestead.Guru, under the title, Why You Should Say NO More Often and Give Fewer Fucks

For many years, I thought that it was my responsibility, my duty, to deep-dive into the most terrible and baffling things.

I cherished a mad hope of understanding them in order to transmute them--to bring about healing.

I thought I had to suffer in order to heal suffering.

Then I realized that was hopelessly arrogant of me.

The universe doesn't bring in happiness to those who are vibing with misery--JOY and BLISS is the natural state and birthright of every human on the planet.

Yes, even the ones who make our insides writhe with confusion and ache with sadness.

So I learned to hold at bay the ones who brought me down.

I learned how to hold at bay the ones who brought me down–with tenderness, and time, and maybe even too much empathy…but I learned to protect mySelf, too.

I learned that I don’t owe people my time, or a place in my reality--if they are actively stuck in misery and suffering while CHOOSING to continue on that path.

Yes, suffering is a choice.

You are responsible for the energy you create, no matter the circumstances you find yourself in.

Those who are dedicated to healing and happiness will heal and find joy.

Those who just want to complain while continuing to bump around in the dark won’t benefit from me (or you) holding space for their complaints, while they repeatedly insist it has nothing to do with X, where X is a clear and obvious cause of their troubles…

Some might say it’s not kind of me to disconnect from those who might benefit from my help.


I don't owe anything to the people whose actions cause me to burn myself out working harder to hold up my own vibe.

I do not owe my energetic commitment, or even an explanation of WHY NOT, to those who don't align with where I want to go.

It's not a matter of me being callous or indifferent, but a matter of me walking my talk, and treating myself the way I deserve to be treated.